A person who was responsible for various tasks in an office, including sweeping, translating letters from foreign countries, deciphering communications from business college graduates, and writing for a publication, fell ill with a combination of la grippe and measles. As a result, they were bedridden for two weeks under a large red quilt, causing the publication to miss two issues.
We have missed two issues of The Rolling Stone, and are now slightly convalescent, for which we desire to apologize and express our regrets.
The individual expressed their apologies and regrets for the missed issues and assured that everyone's subscription would be extended to cover the missed content. They hoped to soon report that the situation would improve and the publication would resume its regular schedule.
People who have tried to run a funny paper and entertain a congregation of large piebald measles at the same time will understand something of the tact, finesse, and hot sassafras tea required to do so.
However, they had to be cautious, as improper treatment and harmful after-effects of the measles, combined with the high cost of paper and presswork, could potentially cause a relapse. They requested that anyone not receiving their publication regularly should visit the office and inquire about it, bringing with them a ham or any other delicacy that would be appreciated by an invalid.